2005 - a blog post

I know this blog is generally used for long posts in which I ponder those aspects of life I do not understand and discuss the various reasons why the world in general and my life in particular would be better if everybody would just follow my line of thinking instead of their own (or as some people call it, completely missing the subtle beauty of my art, nagging), but for this post I would like to make an exception and pay tribute to the year that was 2005.

You see, 2005 was probably the best year of my life. It's not that all the previous years were miserable, but they just were missing a certain, oh I dunno, kick. Yes, a cocaine addiction can really add so much to your year.

(I joke, obviously...... sniiiiiiff).

However, I must say this past year has been awfully nice. First of all, I met a lot of very nice people, some I link with in so many ways it's scary. Others, not so much but we still get along. Either way, it fascinates me and it really makes me quite happy. Which is always a good thing. Second, I was able to not alienate most of the people I like in general, while ignoring those I like less so. Both of which is also a good thing.

Second, I was able to do quite a lot of travelling. Italy, this summer, bringing together some of my favorite people in the world (excluding Orlando Bloom and Orlando Bloom lookalikes, sadly). The UK with my bestest friend Merel, where we basically just watched TV and commented on slutty English girls (quite fun, try it). And, most recently, Kenya, which really was a huge eye opener in so many ways.

Career wise things are fine too. History is still the best motherfucking study in the world (to paraphrase Leopold von Ranke) and I'm still pretty darn good at it, which is why I'm doing the research master now (banging yourself on the chest and shouting I RULE! is mandatory warm up to our classes these days).

But none of that makes 2005 unique, and there were certainly some downsides to the year that need to be considered. Most of all my granddad passed away which I still believe should have been made illegal and, yes, we are still considering suing God. Second, there were the occasional "fuck it" moments (one of these moments lasted for the entire month of June) and Bruce Springsteen songs were played quite loudly to fight those moments. But surprisingly enough that didn't really influence the way I look at the year. Shit just happens and it's useless to complain about it; you can make a trauma out of everything if you want.

Overall I'm just really happy (aside from the fact that I still have no official plans for New Years Eve that is) with how things are going lately. So, ehm, goodie!

(too bad this post isn't funny though)

My virtual Christmas card

I always tell myself that next year I will do the adult thing and sent actual Christmas cards. But then I forget until it is too late, or I just can't be bothered. Thankfully, there's a virtual solution. Last year my hilarious-virtual-Christmas-card had a Jerry Springer theme ("Ho! Ho! Ho!.... you're a ho yourself, bitch!"). This year, my hilarious-virtual-Christmas-card is going 'War on Christmas':

to my Christian friends:


Merry Christmas!


to my Jewish friends:


Merry Chanukkah!

to my fellow athiests:


Merry Non-Religious Gift Opening And Eating Dead Animals Ceremony !


and to Bill O'Reilly


Fuck You!


and to everybody in general: happy 2006!

Under the bridge

The city government of Amsterdam has decided last year that it wanted to change the way people living in Amsterdam use water. The rules used to be that you payed a certain amount of money each month based on the amount of places in your house that you can use water from. For instance, if you have a big house with three bathrooms you pay more than if you have one. I never quite got the system completely, but overall I think nobody was really bothered by it.

The city government, however, was. We, the people, appareantly were using too much water. They also told us, the people, that we were paying too much per month and that with the new rules we'd probably end up paying less per month. Call me stupid, but if we were paying too much maybe we just weren't using enough water?

Anyhoo, the rules changed and about a month ago I received a letter warning me that a watermeter would be installed in my apartment. The letter explained that the procedure was quite simple but that the water-meter-install-people (which, I believe, is the technical term for their job) needed to be able to get into my home. Also, the letter warned me in a very Martha Stewarty way, that even after the thing was installed I still was not allowed to leave the house because waterpeople (the non technical term) had to check if everything worked after they were done. Also, the letter informed me that during the process the water would be turned off and because of that I should tap water for drinking, cooking and "using your toilet".

Right.

Knowing the efficiency of the Amsterdam civil servants I was already preparing myself mentally for spending days without water, dragging myself through my appartment surrounded by long emptied water bottles and waterpeople telling me they'd probably be done within a year. In fact, they were done within an hour. The installing proces was indeed quick and simple, the water people very qualified and the one installing my water thingie and I spent the 20 minutes he was working in my bathroom humming along to my new Creedence Clearwater Revival cd. The thing worked fine and no problems occured. So all's fine.

..... except that I hate having this thing. It works fine but I can't stand knowing how much water I use. Did you know that flushing the toilet takes 6 litres? SIX! Doing the dishes costs me 3 litres and taking a normal shower 25 to 30. I know I pay per every 1.000 l. but I can't stand knowing how fast I'm moving towards that.

This past week I've told about every single friend I have this story. Most got the clue that this means I expect them not to use my bathroom more than 3 times during their visit. It hasn't gotten so far that I bang on the bathroom door and tell them to quit it, or stop offering drinks after the bathroom break quota has been reached... but I'm considering it, and that's why the water thing is scaring me.

So please, city government: I don't mind paying more and I promise I'll keep my water usage to a minimum but can we please go back to the old system?