People, oh, people

I've decided I've given up on trying to understand 50% of all people. I know, I know, I hear you saying "Ha! Boris, you're way behind us! We already did that last november when 51% of the American people voted for George W. Bush!" and you'd be right, but, ya know, I'm slow.

Anywayz.

A few weeks ago I was sitting in the bus on my way to a Joe Cocker concert (decent show btw, band sucked, Joe was great). After a few stops a woman sat next to me. No problem so far. Then the woman got her mobile phone out and started playing all her ringtones. No kidding! ALL of them! Then after doing that for five minutes, she stood up, walked to the other end of the bus and sat down there till the last stop. QUE? (For the record I would like to point out I did not smell funny either).

Then in the concert hall we (I was there with my parents) decided to sit down for the show and we picked a few pretty decent seats at the end of the hall. In between the lines of seats were stairs leading to the seats. So, most people would understand that you walk up the stairs, to the seats and sit down, right?

Nope.

After the seats filled up hundreds of people decided to sit down on the stairs. Now, if you want to do that at home, be my guest. But in a concert arena with a couple of thousand people there it might be a smarter move to keep the escape routes open, wouldn't you agree? They wouldn't. Every 15 minutes a security guard would come up to all the people sitting down explaining them they weren't allowed to sit here and asking them to leave. Which they then did (veeeeeeery slowly).... for 5 minutes and then they returned. And then the security guard came again, and they left, and returned, and... and... and....

Then this morning I was sitting in the university library wrestling myself through another G.E.R. Lloyd book for my exam on the 4th of july (lemme tell ya: after studying for this thing I can tell you for sure that all the stuff that was even remotely sexy about the words "oral exam" has totally dissapeared). Now you may never have visited this particular library but it's much like most libraries in that it has more signs telling you to 1) not talk, 2) not drink or eat and 3) most importantly NOT USE YOUR MOBILE PHONE. They're simple rules, anyone can follow them and it only means you're talk-, food- and phoneless for an hour or two.

Enter two girls that sat opposite me. They ate, they drank, they talked (in that annoying whispery tone that's always even worse than normal talking), they laughed, they didn't do anything constructive, and they talked on the phone. After an hour I felt the urge to grab one of them and pinch my ballpoint through her eye (and it's been done before and apparently it does kill).

And then I figured some of the other people in the library would probably write a post tonight on their weblog saying:

"nothing was happening and then some overweight guy suddenly screamed "WHOOOOOOOOOORE!", jumped over his table and strangled this one girl while clobbing another girl to death with her little water bottle! Proves once again 50% of the people are just completely insane".

So, I didn't. Instead I decided that there are many people in the world that I just do not understand and that the feeling is most likely mutual.

(Also, I'm afraid of going to jail.)