Wanted

Usually I'm not a big fan of filling out virtual question lists, you know the kind: what song were you listening to when you opened this e-mail, what book are you reading, do you have any weapons of mass destruction. All so demanding. However the other day I ran into one that I thought was quite amusing:

"If you would post a lonely hearts ad (which of course you don't cause you're not that desperate) what would it be like?"

Now, if this was my old Dutch blog I would just post the fake ad and continue with what I was doing before (googling you). Sadly enough my Dutch blog has passed away a month or two ago (don't be sad! it's in internet heaven with Netaid and Altavista!) and the entire set-up of this blog is that the articles posted on it should be at least one page long. And I'm not making that ad, even a fake one, one fucking page long. I mean seriously, do you KNOW how expensive these things are?

Anyway, most of the times my ideas about relationships are best described by Stephen Stills' song Love the one you're with, but not quite. The song's message is that if you can't be with the one you love, you might as well love the one you are with. Which is true, maybe not completely fair to the one you're with, but true.

However my main problem is not so much being or not being, it's finding the one you love. My bestest friend Merel (who also has a blog since yesterday btw, nothing's on it yet but you can click on the link to the left.... and then come back and read the rest.... helloooo???) is fond of saying that stuff like that always happens when you least expect it, but I'm not too sure. If that theory was true, wouldn't we all be having sex at age 5 (does explain the catholic church's problems though, I'm sure those altar boys really didn't expect it)? The main problem also isn't that I want someone now. As a matter of fact, right now is not that good a time since my ear hurts and I have to take care of my parents dog till sunday morning. It's just that a time frame would be appreciated (HEAR THAT GOD???).

But even in moments of great dispair and confusion I think of a show I once saw on MTV. They were following a bunch of people around that claimed they would do anything to get some money, for example one of the guys they interviewed was a kickboxer... slash sperm donor (and I swear to god I did not make that up!). Another guy they showed was this fellow that worked in Vegas as a freak show act known as the lizzard man. His entire face was tattooed green and his tongue was cut in half so that it seemed more, well, lizzardy. I also did not make him up. Anyway, in the show they followed Lizzard man around and towards the end of the show he married his longtime girlfriend (who I should add seemed fairly sane). And it made me think: if in this world lizzard man can find a soul mate, I'm sure it'll work out for me too.... (during my more depressed days however I think: lizzard man has someone and I don't???).

Oh and to answer that question:

"21 year old guy with unhealthy, and probably at times annoying, music, politics, books, and history addiction and a pathological fear of being left seeks likewise"

wow.... now there's a fucked up mix in the making...