I'm a man

I noticed the other day how I do quite a lot of things ´like a (little school-) girl´. For instance I scream like one when I see a big spider or other insects I don’t like (which basically means every insect that ever has, and ever will, walk this earth). I also giggle like one when exciting things happen or are about to happen (which is quite embarrassing, especially in a full bus). And, as far as I haven’t already killed the brain cells that remember anything from my gym classes, I seem to recall I throw and catch basketballs like one too. Basically, you might as well give me a long blonde wig and call me Debbie. (Also I bitch like one, but that might be the gay thing).

On top of that I generally don’t care that much about typical `guy´ things either. For instance, although I do root for a team and once in a while watch a match, football is one of the things that I could very easily live without. As a matter of fact, most sports could disappear from the earth tomorrow and I don’t think I could care less (I could give it a shot, but I really do not think I could). Also drinking more than one glass of beer in one session generally makes me sick and cars bore me to death. So, overall, if we look at the score between Boris – Masculinity, it’s not looking too comfy for the home-team (though using a sports analogy here should get me some points!).

There is, however, one thing I recently discovered I like, I find very masculine: I like cutting stuff with knives. Not people or anything, although I should add I have never actually done that, so I can’t say for sure I wouldn’t like it if I did (it’s just that blood makes me scream like a girl too), just food. First I thought it was something most people like doing, but after discussing it with a bunch of female friends, who all said they thought my big cooking knives were, and I quote, `scary´ to work with, it turned out it’s a guy thing.

Rock on!

Out of all things that are fun to cut or chop, mushrooms are by far the funnest (which I have decided is a word no matter what my Word spellchecker says… yeah, well screw you too Bill Gates!). I remember reading in a book once (it wasn’t really that interesting a book so by not naming I’m trying to sound intelligent, is it working?) that the main character considered slicing mushrooms `erotic´, and, although I can’t quite agree with that, it is a whole lot of fun. Mushrooms generally don’t make a mess when you cut them (like those bastard tomatoes) so you can just start chopping in on them with a big knife, like you’re in some kind of horror movie…. Killing mushrooms. Cool! And as a nice side effect mushrooms are very nice in a good pasta sauce, you know, with some fresh tomatoes, some tuna and…

Oh wait, talking about pasta sauce is not really helping my masculinity rating, is it?

F###…

Ok, let’s give it another shot: last night I dreamt I was fighting off sharks (or crocodiles, I can’t remember), that’s pretty masculine right?

On the other hand, earlier that night I also had a dream about bread….

Sigh.

Hi, I’m Debbie, how are you?